Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas Gifts?

What is Santa bringing YOU for Christmas???  
  •   I've been eyeing these Pandora bracelets  for awhile now.  Problem is, I'm cheap, and these are pretty expensive tho not this simile by Pugster.  If you like the look but not the cost, Pugster may be the way to go. My skin turns green at anything "plated", which is the deciding factor for me. I'll stick to my original plan to save up and go with the real deal.  Most of my jewelry is inexpensive, I deserve nice things.  I'll wait it out.  
  • Books Books and more books!  For my Kindle, that is!Crave: A Novel of the Fallen AngelsLover Unleashed (Black Dagger Brotherhood, Book 9)The Girl Who Played with Fire (Vintage)Skipping Christmas: A NovelUnbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain                         (Just to name a few)
  • Movies.. we recently redid the livingroom including a big screen tv and blue ray player.  I've 2 blue ray movies to my name.  Here's a few I'd like to buy...   
Jesus Christ Superstar (Special Edition)Pink Floyd - The Wall 25th Anniversary (Deluxe Edition)Shall We Dance? [Blu-ray]Romeo + Juliet [Blu-ray]                       So that's about it.  Really don't have many needs/wants.  It's nice to say that.  I'd like.... to make my sons move to Alaska easier for him, if I had the means to drop a couple grand in his lap.  I'd like... to rent an apartment for my middle child so that he could experience living on his own without moving in with some friends who aren't... well, the most goal oriented kids on the block.  While we're talking funds, I'd make my little sisters life easier via a few weeks without bills while her disability kicks in.  (Her MS is flaring badly)   I'd give my husband selective amnesia, my dtr a good skin doc who can get rid of that growth near her eye, and the clarity, not only of skin, but of mind, to not be affected by the snotty cliques in her class (the "In" crowd),  the silly boys around her, or the innane nuances of being a little sister to her brothers.  I'd find the perfect from-home job for a friend of mine, and call it a night!  
(Disclaimer: the links weren't hints for Santa, they were a funky way for me to try out the new "Amazon Associate" thingy I signed up for!  If any of my readers click on a link to one of those products, and buys it from Amazon, I get credit! I figured it was a win win to do that, as it makes my sight look better too! )
 Happy Holidays!

Adeste Fideles!

I just love Christmas lights! 

Our girl and her dog, playin in the Christmas trees


Made these for ornaments, but J said they were yummy!

Our first Ice Storm

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I have failed...

Dear Readers, you will notice by the lack of mostly red blocked calendar on the top of my page, that I have admitted defeat.  I didn't get my novel written this month.  Huge frowny face here.  It's too bad, because I really enjoyed the process, and the comradarie of other writers, and the creative process itself.  It was pretty unrealistic of me tho, to even approach it.  Oh well.  I'll probably do it next year too!  Thanks to those of you who gave me ideas and helped with character development.  And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Ok, here we go.  Thanksgiving in a couple days, and then the big rush is on.  Don't think I'll be doing Black Friday this year, mostly because I'm working until 8am and besides, we don't really have anything we need that is on the lists..  "THE" lists really means Js.  Her number one desire for xmas?  A shotgun!  Nope, not a red ryder bb gun, but a nx151 20 gauge blah blah blah, I dont' even know.  It's funny to listen to her trying to convince Daddy, who says "that no, family policy is nothing stronger than a bb gun until you're 18.  How will it look to the boys if I let you, when I didn't let them??!! "  I gladly disengage and let them battle it out. 
Toms gifts, a couple of them, are purchased, as well as a GPS for my mom.  I think we're gonna hold off on the big gift to each other, a huge screen TV until after the first of the year.  Tims idea.  I don't really want the damned thing anyway!  Gonna throw a party Dec. 10th.  Looking at some new and interesting ways to decorate.  Any thoughts?  Helping a friend with some inspiration to get his house cleaned up by xmas... this pot shouldn't be calling the kettle black!  hehe!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


The sanctuary of love, peace and freedom resides in our intentions, within our
breath, in our actions, at every moment of every day if we choose to
make it so. _Roozbeh Bahramali



Sunday, October 10, 2010

Monday, October 4, 2010


My Dad might be interested in this blogger.  I've not had a chance to read the whole thing yet.

Vietnam Vet remembers and goes back... 40 yrs later

Sunday, October 3, 2010


So, gotta write this down while it's fresh in my mind.  
Today my mom and I were in the car and she mentioned one of her favorite pics that I've taken.  It is of the Vietnam War Memorial, and a finger (Tims) pointing at a particular name.  Thomas E. Beglinger. I had forgotten about that one.  Tom was a friend of my dads.  "The brother I never had" (since his own was a bit of a prick when they were younger).  He introduced my mom and dad to each other during high school. Dad went to Vietnam after he and Mom were married.  Tom was drafted as well.  He was killed in Vietnam. Anyhow, Mom mentioned this pic today, and then I was talking to my husband about it in the car, asking him if he thought I should send Dad a copy of that pic.  We hemmed and hawed it over, and decided that yes, we would send him a copy.

Fast forward to later this evening.  I'm on fb, checking things out when I get this IM:
 "Your dad said to tell you, Tom Beglinger died 44 years ago today.  Oct 2, 1966."  
I was flabbergasted!   We started chatting back and forth about this, and then Joanne told me to call the house.  Dad answered and we talked for the next 48minutes.  
"I was at Camp Carole I think, over in Nam.  I got a letter from your mother telling me that he had been debrained. Shot in the head.  He got a lot of medals and such, because he was shot after pulling someone out of the line of fire.  He was like the brother I never had.  We did a lot together in high school, were together a lot, then he went off to college, and I went to Vietnam.  He came back from college, and then was drafted."  
He then talked about the strong bonds that were formed in 'Nam when you were fighting beside somebody, for your life and theirs.  He remembered that when he got his beer ration, he and his buddies always shared with which ever of them were "shootin the gun" i.e. on watch.  He recalled coming back stateside, and mentioned that if he didn't have a family (me, and mom) he would have gone "right back over there, to fight alongside" his brothers.  
Dad also shared that he had been thinking about Tom all day today, and decided that he needed to get drunk or something, in honor of him.  (grin)  What he ended up doing is getting some wings, having a beer, and calling Toms brother/father, (I'm not sure which) Norman, to tell him, "Hey Norm... Bob Sonricker here.  Just wanted you to know, I didn't forget." Can you imagine how much that meant to Norm? 
This was a really good conversation for us to have.  We've always been able to talk about his years in the service, I guess as the child that was born while he was at war, and the one who has been a staunch supporter of the POW/Mia cause, we've always had that in common.  I'm glad that I could give him that outlet tonite, a safe place to talk about his feelings and memories.  It was obvious that he needed it, and I feel only too honored to have been on the other end of that phone.  
So... I just needed to get this down in my blog.  It seems that Mr. Beglinger was making sure I reconnected with my Dad today.  Thank you Sir, and I assure you, I will NEVER forget. 


Monday, September 6, 2010

My wish... for me...

      Once upon a time there was this nurse.  She'd seen a lot, she'd done a lot, she'd landed the perfect job.  Surrounded by strong, brilliant, independent women, her coworkers.  Receiving, assessing, caring for women of all kinds, with one thing in common; bringing life into this world.   
     I wish I had paid attn, REALLY paid attention, to those years that now seem like milliseconds in what has been my life thus far. To this DAY, that was the best job ever.  Most days I marveled that they paid me to come in to work every day.  Alas, it came to an end.  Why?  For several reasons.  Miscommunication about some time off that I needed, an inability on my part to ask for help when I was feeling overwhelmed with a complicated patient, and the insertion of my pride that insisted that *I* was every bit as capable as anyone else to do it all myself.  Extreme stress and sleep deprivation  as my best friend and my mom were both fighting to survive cancer.  It just all became too much.  Fortunately, no harm was done, but I wasn't capable of doing the job anymore.  HOW_VERY_SAD that day was for me!  Several days, weeks, months to follow as well, as I grappled for a mere sliver of hold on the mountain of self esteem and humility that had crumbled beneath the words, "we need your badge."   Fast forward several years. Lots has happened.  The women in my life both survived. Other jobs have come and gone.  I've become sedentary in my profession, choosing "easy" over painstaking and rewarding.  
My wish for me, is to return to the smart, quick, compassionate and capable person, if not nurse that once donned those white shoes and kept losing her stethoscope. (grin)
I know we're all a work in progress.  I've decided to stand up to the "work" that has been turning me into an old fat lady. I'm not ready for retirement yet.  Nor complacency.  
Please join me on my journey, to enlightenment, to a lighter me, and to a lighter, more joyous way of life.  Time to let go of that which isn't working, and forge ahead into the unknown, to trust my instincts, interact with clairvoyance and trust in mother nature and all things of the light. 


Two Arrested for Terror Dry Run... 

WHAT is this world coming to?  HOW did these people in any way, shape or form receive ANY leniency?  Who CARES if it's a test run! What do YOU think???

Monday, August 30, 2010

~ It's the MOST wonderful TIME of the year....!! ~

God, I love this day!  First day of school here in our little town in NH. I've been loving this day for DECADES!  First of all, as a child and young woman, I always loved the first day of school.  The new clothes, the smell of the bus, the classroom, the books.  Oh, the books!!!  Loved them and read ahead all thru primary education.  Fell asleep with a text on my face many times during nursing school.  Just couldn't get enough!  Now I find myself sneaking peeks at my kids books, well... until yesterday, when my son said, "Moooooom!  Will you LET me have MY college experience, please??!!"  woah.  Ok, back off mother textbook info stalker!  lol.  
That brings me to now.  STILL the greatest day, because after 2 months of lounge lizards who needed a lecture and eventually threats to get them to do their chores, the endless trips to the grocery store because they were eating me out of house and home, and the tug o war to get their covers off and their shiny hineys outta bed before noon each morning, I am READY to have them back in school!!!  (whew! deep breaths Beck, and step aWAY from the soap box)
In all honesty, I'm very proud of my youngest heading off to jr. high like it's just another day in the life of a rockstar, and my middle son, the eldest left here at home, who started his college career today.  He EVEN wore a button up shirt!  Of course, his classes were at 11am and 5pm, and he's not home now, 6 hrs later.. but hey, I suppose he's got better things to do than to come home from school and tell Mommy about his day!  Guess I'll be bouncing on his bed at 7am!  hehe.  I love my kids!  
Without further adieu, here are the "first day of school" pics that I promised not to put on Facebook.  If this blog ever gets popular, I'm dead meat with my children!
"Hey Mom, Who has 2 thumbs and is GOING to college?  THIS GUY! " 

First day of school, she and her "bffl" agreed to wear the tshirts they got at a Fisher Cats game we went to recently!  
The backpack, her Daddys hand me down from his deployment in Iraq, weighs as much as she does!
He really thought he was going to school too!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Thank you

Thank you God, for these hands, this spirit and the magic of intention. Sometimes, every once in awhile, I get the opportunity to be the nurse I truly want to be. Thank you.

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Hurray!  I have a second follower!  Welcome Amanda/Becky!  Hope I can hold your interest!!! 

Monday, August 16, 2010

Stick a fork in me...

This is me, today, after working on call all weekend.  I swear, I didn't even know my own name by the time I got home this morning.  Why is it that the older I get, the less I am able to tolerate sleep deprivation?   I can recall days upon end with barely any sleep, an hour caught in the car between nursing school classes, clinical and my night job at the psych hospital.  I functioned just fine.  Maybe I just was so caught up in ME that I didn't realize how it was affecting my moods, behavior, judgement.  Wow.  Certainly not the case now!  I go into every work weekend with notebook in hand, and write down EVERYTHING I possibly can.  By Sunday morning I'm functioning on caffeine alone, and willpower, dammit! 
I did good work this weekend.  I was thorough, helped some people get comfortable and pain free, helped a couple of families feel much better about the care they were giving and the status of their loved one, and even had the honor of being there to hold the hand of someone crossing over to the other side.  For that moment alone, I'd do the whole weekend again.  If only I could find a job that was all hand holding, care and comfort and hugs, and NO paperwork! argh!  The bane of my existence! (Thanks spell check, I wanted to spell that bain) On the other side of the weekend, I slept half of my day off, the other half, this am, spent answering emails and questions about events over the weekend... I'm moody cranky and intolerant of noise or bullshit.  Just bit my husbands head off. (There's blood everywhere) I think back to bed is where I should go.  Knee isn't holding up that well.  NSAIDS help, but have my tummy a little topsy turvy.  We leave for NY on Friday.  Need to pack, and find a dress.  oh ugh.  Shoes too. Screw it, I think I'll just buy new Tevas :D
Can't find my check that I finally got from HD.  groan!  Yeah, bed.  That's it.  Game over.  Restart tomorrow.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

August 2010

Summer 2010 as we know it is coming to a close.  Every year, August rears its searing head and we look around, wondering where the summer has gone.  All of a sudden the kids start looking at sale flyers for clothes, and frantic pleas are made for "one more trip" to the mini golf range, Water Country, one more Saturday night down at the bay listening to whatever band is lined up.  Old home week is right around the corner, complete with town wide scavenger hunt and 5k for young and old alike.  This year there is even more urgency, as our girl has been away for most of the month of July.  Sometimes we need to prioritize.  This is the lesson for our pre-teenager, who doesn't understand why we can't just hurry and DO everything!  Never mind the cumulative $1,500.00 spent from airfare sending her south on her own, to going down for a week to VA to pick her up, spend a few days with the dtr in law and granddaughter, then 4 days in DC showing her everything we can possibly get to.  I have a confession to make.  August 30th can't get here soon enough!  

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Visiting Evie, Picking up J

This weekend we're in VA picking up Jordan, who has been down here with Amber and Evie for the last 3 weeks, and also to visit the girls, as we haven't seen them in forever!  Evie has grown so much!  She's running all over the place, and though most of her words are toddler babble, by the 3rd day around her, we're beginning to recognize some words.  She's adorable, loves to mimick and get a reaction out of people.  She's stubborn, and just when you get ready to reprimand her for something, she smiles that angelic smile and laughs a fiendish laugh, and next thing ya know, you're laughing along with her!
She took to Tim immediately, and to me as well, tho he was her fav.  Babies always love my gentle giant. 
Got some adorable pics.  My Camera behaved itself pretty well, I can't complain.  There was one decent pic of me and the baby, so that's good! 
Tomorrow we stop at Ambers to pick up Js laundry, say goodbye and zip out to DC.  Mount Vernon and then back to a hotel for the night, early up and out Tuesday morning with the following agenda..

    • Smithsonian

    • Spy Museum

    • Jefferson Memorial

    • Lincoln Memorial

    • The National Mint
Probably gonna take a couple of days to complete this list.  Ya think?

It's wierd to be in this area, and be walking this walk with my dtr and Tim.  Right before we left home, I had a dream.  Visited by someone that was very important to me about many many yrs ago, it was a pleasant visit, but the message was about letting go.  Accepting the past for the past and letting go.  It was a good lesson, that I'm finally ready to accept and take to heart.  It's a relief, tho I was feeling a little sad about it initially.  My life is into a new chapter now, and the simpler the better.  There is so much more that is more important. 

Are we ready?  I hardly think so, tho the tables are turning, there are more light workers and persons aware, than ever before.  Prayer, honesty, truth and faith... helping ourselves and one another, in the cleanest healthiest way possible.  That is my new objective. 
What are YOUR thoughts on the matter? 

Friday, July 2, 2010

Of Empty Nests, Parades and Love of books....

July 2nd.  First full day with my 12 yr old daughter away in VA with my dtr in law and grandbaby.  I miss her!!!  It's just bizarre without someone at my hip.  NOT that she's ever any trouble, but she's always there, ya know?  Didn't do much with my first day of "freedom".  Napped, tried to figure out my computer, went to the bank...  Took a picnic down to the bay and watched folk go by with hubby.  Tried to have a little chat about what we were gonna do with ourselves upon retirement, 4-6 yrs from now.  That turned into a lecture about how I'll never be able to retire if I don't increase the amt taken out of my paycheck, blah blah blah.  heavy sigh!
On call now thru midnight Monday.  Maybe we'll get a ride in this weekend. Have been invited to a couple picnics... Probably will hit the Lionettas, and maybe Sheris as well to say hello to her son Justin who is a marine and home for a little bit before a very dangerous deployment to Afghanistan.
Was really hoping to scoot down to Bristol and catch the 4th of July parade there.  Drop by to see an old friend or three, see my cousin and his wife, maybe even get a glimpse of an old boyfriend who I know will be there with his family...  but mostly to just see the parade, smell the salt air, sip on a Dels and enjoy the ambiance of a place near and dear to my heart!  Alas, I'm on call Monday, and that kinda came about in a haphazard way, so will take it as a sign that I'm not supposed to make it to Bristol this year.  Hey, look at it this way, it gives me a year to work on this bod so that I'm not reacquainting with old friends as the Pillsbury Doughgirl!  hehe!

Reading:  The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender.  Interesting read.  How do I explain it?  She doesn't just let the dialogue tell the story.  Lots of descriptives in a way that make you want to reach out and touch that flower or make you swear you can almost taste that dessert.  Interesting getting to know characters this way, without the "her hair was blond and straight, her eyes of shiny blue".  Will write more about the book when I finish it, but let the record show I'm enjoying the talented writing.  Just goes to show there are many different ways to be a good writer.  I need to read more different authors.  My usual MO is to read a book I like, and then stick with that author until I've exhausted their list of books written.  Nine thirty here, and totally missing the old sofa we used to have on the porch, it's a perfect night for porch sleeping!  Good night ya'll!  (ala Paula Dean)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

LavaRockAngel at Gmaildotcom

My new profile name, for all things metaphysical.  Can't get that Angel out of my head, from the black sand beach on Maui.  Eh, sounds good to me!  Went to a guided meditation at Eye of the Hawk yesterday morning.  Actually took the bike and Terris friend, well, my friend now, John, went as well, on his new bike.  It was a decent ride even though it was mostly highway.  Stopped for a bit at Panera on the way back, mmm!  Ooops, getting ahead of myself.
So, this meditation was guided by J.Cat.  VERY interesting young man.  I look forward to witnessing some of his work as Oracle, and really liked the meditation.  Very different from George, but interesting and useful none the less.  My intent was a message, some sort of confirmation about what I'm doing.  What I got was mostly at the end, the "gift" which was a picnic basket full of organic fuel for this engine of mine.  Apples and pears, greens, Sparkling water, nuts... and the message, "go back to these!" which I had been putting off anyway!  Before Hawaii, I was doing the organic thing as led by Kara, along with some supplements.  Never felt better, clearer, more beautiful in my life.  (well... maybe more beautiful, but you get my meaning)  Heading on back there, tomorrow morning.  Just kinda fasted today, other than an apple and my "so long for now, old friend" last cuppa joe for awhile. boo hoo!  Not drinking will be tough, as it's summer and we like a drink or two out on the deck each night.  May hafta make allowances for that somehow.  I Talked to J about working with him on my Reiki II attunement.  He was receptive, and thought that we could work something out in the next couple of months.  Then I just need to USE it, a LOT... so that I'll be ready for the Master atunement.  Exciting stuff! 
Well, let's see.  Other than that, not much else is going on.  Bikes running well.  Went down around Wentworth by the sea after meditation.  It was foggy with sea mist.  That was kinda cool.  Considered Friendly Toast, but couldn't find it! 
J home today, driving me crazy, in a good way of course. . 

Cleaning out and throwing out stuff today. Gosh, what a load of crap I've collected!  Laundry is just about done and caught up.  Now to sort and give away.  Emmy wants to have her graduation party here at the end of the month...  and I only want that to happen if I can get the whole house straightened up and in "come see the house" mode.  Huh, that'd be a first!
Enough for now!  Am waiting with baited breath for some of my griends... ooops, uh yeah, that's a cross between girl friends and friends... to sub to this blog.  I'd better figure out some more interesting stuff to say, eh?  Let's see... Oil Spill, 2012, Red Sox.... what'll it be?  Maybe eventually I'll have a following, and then I can ask for opinions! 
For now, this is LavaRockAngel, signing off and flittering away....

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Memorial Day and the month to come

Just spent a gloriously warm, peaceful, family filled Memorial Day weekend here at home. Got the decks and siding pressure washed (Tim) lawn mowed and buntings out. Summer is here! Took a nice long bike ride to Ben and Jerrys on Sunday. 320 miles and triple scoops later, early bedtimes after hot showers and ibu! Gosh we're getting old. It was cute, that J was the only one with an idea on where to go. "let's go to B & Js" she kidded, and away we rode! It's fun, once in awhile, to totally indulge the child. She and I had an ipod apiece full of new tunes, so were ready for anything!

Now it's back to the grind, and can't help but think that life is pretty darned good. I've read everything I had loaded on my kindle except "pride and Prejudice", so will probably start that soon. Right now I'm reading "Stealing Breakfast from Buddah". It's alright. Doesn't have me on the edge of my seat like a good Koontz book, or wiggling on the chaise from the steaminess (word?) of one of the Black Dagger Brotherhood books, but I'll finish it. What are you reading that you just can't put down? Always looking for a good read. Once in awhile I'll get an email, or a text or IM from someone, an online friend or a relative, who just HAS to tell me about the latest book they've read. I just adore those messages! Hey, if someone reads something good and thinks of me, that's cool, ya know?
Middle son just applied to NHTI today. He has known for the last year that he wants into a game programming... uh, well yeah, program. He really wants to go to Full Sail in Fla. We've asked him to get his associates here in NH first, and then his dads GI bill will cover a couple years at FS. Maybe that's a little hard assed, but you've gotta know this kid. He uses *3* alarms to get himself up and off to work for 11am, and even THEN I hafta rouse him about half the time. Wash his clothes? Clean his room? Put away the clothes I've washed and folded? nahhhh. How can I expect him to get his butt to class, say nothing about completing assignments on time and correctly??!! They say it happens, but I just can't see it. Trying to think back to my own young adult hood. Hmm, I made it to school and did my work AND worked 30 hrs a week as well as did sports... then went to UNH, met a boy, majored in Pope Puff and the fine art of sneaking beer into the dorm, and was booted after my first year. Maybe I haven't the grounds to predict his behavior or outcome afterall! Hmmm! (wait, before you think, dear reader that I'm drinking beer for a living, 10 yrs later I DID attend the same tech that Tommys applying to, btw, and received my nursing degree. I've been an RN for 14 yrs. Thank heavens for whatever nudge sent me there! (grin)
Anyhow, in the month to come, I am planning to take Reiki II from J.Cat at Eye of the Hawk. Hoping for a more intense program than the first, and to learn a lot from him. Also intend to work on my "angel writings" and will keep you all posted on those. (feel free to ask for more info) J gets out of school the... oh, 15th I think, and hopes to then be leaving to go to VA for the month with Amber and the baby. (Daughter in law and grand daughter) while my son is deployed.

I can't imagine a whole month without her here. Not sure if Momma bird is going to be able to handle such a long stay, may have to scoot down myself just for a few hugs!
Guess I will close for today.
Dear God, Angels, Spirit guides...        Please give me the patience to be, while in the act of becoming! I am such an impatient mortal!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Wow, it's been awhile since I've blogged. Here... xanga... anywhere! Gotta get back ontop of that. I love blogging, and reading my friends blogs. Seriously, I could do it all day. Then again, I could do anything having to do with sitting in front of this screen, all day. I think it's why hubby won't agree to us buying a big fancy screen, because the only way I step away is if my eyes hurt! Doh! Grow UP Beck!

Speaking of hubb. He's fresh back from Iraq. No, not Qatar, not the perimiter, but Balad, where all the action is. He did a very good job of not letting me know how much danger he was in, and seriously I wasn't worried, but now that he's back and talks about the 44 times they were under attack, I'm like "what the #*$&!!" Glad that he is home safe. I had this nice idealistic home coming planned. Eh, that idea lasted about 2 days. He's back to hogging the remote, taking me for granted, siding with the girl and messing up the routine. He's kinda cute tho. Guess I'll keep him for a while longer. Right now we've some decisions to make. Saved some of the Christmas presents/festivities for when he got home, now gotta figure out when to do things. Also, this May is our 20th wedding anniversary. We've planned all along to go back to Hawaii, but now he's making other suggestions. He wants to bring Jordan along, I DO NOT. I would be willing to bet that, before we get this all figured out, the sentence "fine, why don't you take JORDAN and go on our anniversary vacation then?!@" will pop out of my mouth! I just feel it coming!

Have recently embarked on a bit of a spiritual journey, if you will. Have my first Reiki class under my belt and just need to practice more... Terri has declared himself a Shaman, and John a Medicine Man. John is a really cool dude, and I find myself very attracted to him. Not really sexually, but in an energy kinda way. I have met my spirit guide, Aileya, and my angel Amanda insisted on joining me the very same day. Everyone that meets her says that she is just so very full of love for me, and they are close to tears when they say it. Aileya, I am working on getting to know better. I was meditating at the table recently, and feel that I "saw" her for the first time... was able to draw her outline, and it was an incredible feeling. I have found that EVERY time that I ask something of my angels, they give it to me. They've helped me find countless things... have gotten me home safe and sound during inclement weather, have helped me to close my aura and be protected from negativity.... my problem is that I haven't made this a habit, of starting out my day talking to them. I really need to do this... as every day that I am cognizant of my spirit guide and angel, goes so much more smoothly than a day without acknowledging them.
Tomorrow I am going to meet a guy named George, for a "class"... on being more in touch with our spirit guides, or something like this. I'm not sure. I feel this is the right path for me, I'm just not sure where it's going to lead.

When I got together with Terri and Jon last week, Jon said something that really grabbed me. Out of the blue he mentioned that something had come to him... Who was HE to interrupt someones journey in life? He believes that everyone has a journey, and needs to go thru the crap they go thru, to grow into the person they need to be to handle whatever life is throwing at them next. This struck me as I have been grappling with how to help Brandon and Amber. Suddenly, I've let it all go, and am just there for the both of them. It feels so much better. so, we'll see what tomorrow holds! Wish me luck!