Monday, August 8, 2011

Miss my girl...

2 wks ago I took our daughter out to Binghamton NY for volleyball camp.  She had a decent time, learned some, and grew from the experience.  I was relieved and proud to see that she could hold her own with girls 1-4 years older than her, stand up for herself, and play as well as, if not better than, atleast half the girls in 9th and 10th grade.

She's still in NY, at my dads, shooting woodchucks, clays, anything they can find to aim at.  Fishing, horse back riding, mini-golfing, going to the rodeo and an amusement park.  She's having a great time.

It's quiet around here.  I have floundered.  Maybe even a little depressed.  Up pops the question.... "WHO am I, when I'm not being chauffer, her biggest fan and athletic supporter, chef, seamstress, maid, life-coach, go-fer and bottomless bank? Can't say I've amounted to much.  Have gotten together with some friends that we usually don't have time to see. (Glen and Marissa, Lori and Rog, John and Carole, my girlfriends Sallie and Susan in NY)  Le sigh.  She'll be back soon, and I"ll be craving alone time once again.  It has definitely given me pause tho.  The future looks .... boring.  (grin)  Guess I'd better make a list. 

Things to do once the nest is empty
  • get back to quilting
  • finish that book
  • support the troops more than the weekly letters and monthly pkgs
  • volunteer at a homeless shelter/soup kitchen
  • scrapbook all those pictures
  • take a cruise with my girlfriends
  • take some online courses, i.e photography, photoshop, writing courses
Well, that's a start, eh?  Late.  I should quit waxing nostalgic and go back to bed. 
Goodnight, world.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Night photography Class

So, I've delved into the world of online classes.  My first is this Night Photography   (<--click there) class by Kent Weakley.  I've been following him on twitter, and the little teachings I've seen here and there had me hooked.  I'm only on video 3, but I've already learned so much.  For YEARS I've been trying to remember my shutter speed, aperatures, white balance, histograms, iso etc etc.  In one lesson, it's clear as day!  Looking forward to the next class which is about shooting blue light/twighlight!  If you get a chance to take a class, I highly recommend it.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Comments on a book I'm reading...

A friend of mine, a very intelligent, insightful, kind hearted woman, invited me to a group that she was initiating called "our 1000 gifts".  After reading the aforementioned book, she felt the need to start writing down her own 1000 gifts, and invited a bunch of us to join her.  Well, you know me, I hadta read the book that provoked the inspiration!  Here is my review of just a chapter... I'll be back with more...

First of all, are you familiar with Slam Poetry? "Pretty" by Katie Makkai, "Seen Not Heard" by Roxy Azari, oh yeah, and
Taylor Mali "What Teachers Make", and Sarah Kay "Hands"  or "B"
It's been around, but I just discovered it.  Anyhow, this author writes like her entire book is going to be read at some slam poetry event.  Not quite full sentences sometimes, flowing, flowery words that wax and wane... I find myself reading some paragraphs 2 or 3 times to get past the feel and fully grasp what she is saying.  It's not that she's saying anything super high tech rocket science brilliant, but it's still profound, in it's simplicity.  Do you know what I mean?

  I'm on Chapter 5, it's about Grace.  Her little boy caught his hand in the fan blades... cut up but he still has a hand... and it occurs to her, yeah, sure, Praise God, he didn't lose his hand.  WHAT if he did?  Grace is about, she explains, thanking Him, being grateful, for whatever lesson is being taught, whatever reason God has for something happening. 
Can I extrapolate and say that this addresses all those questions of, "if there is a God, why does he let bad things happen to good people, or innocent babies, or someone who already has their share of hardships?" The message I hear is that being grateful/thankful is easy when it's for the beauty around us, or an easy time at the dentist, etc etc, but being full of grace involves being grateful, even when the message/experience isn't enjoyable. 
"With Joy comes pain".... this concept speaks to something that's occurred to me for quite a while now.  Eventually we lose EVERY earthly thing we have ever possessed, and every single person we have ever loved...  depressing thoughts... but part of life, I suppose.  What has occurred to me personally is that .... knock on wood... I've not really had that much pain in my life.  (When is it gonna happen, and is it gonna be a doozie because I need to catch up on my "pain" quota?) I've not had anyone really close to me die.  My mom had cancer, as did my husband.  Both overcame, for the time being anyway.  No one has had any serious health issues, I'm fairly healthy, (tho morbidly obese and slowing down).  It's kinda that paranoid feeling you get during nursing school when you're absolutely certain you've got x, y and z disease that you just learned about in Micro...

     I digress.  What I'm getting out of chapter 5 is that, if we're grateful, and truly gracious in our daily lives and attitudes, then we don't question Gods sovereignty when something painful happens.  You hear it over and over again, "God has a plan".  Well, in all our graciousness, how dare we question his judgement about something that he "lets" happen?  He has this master plan for the whole universe, all things fit together to run smoothly, or at least, as they're supposed to.  GOD SEES THE FOREST THRU THE TREES!!!  Who am I, a meager conifer, to question his care of the whole woods!
Lastly, "grace that chooses to bear the cross of suffering OVERCOMES the suffering... " 
  Looking around and being grateful has opened my eyes, and my heart.  I'm curious to see what else she has to say, and lastly, to compare it to my own beliefs that have gone basically towards mother earth, Angels, Spirit Guides, meditation and transcendence.  (with God at the top of the hierarchy, if you will)  In the meantime, slowing down, looking around, writing down the gifts, seems like a reasonable and natural response.  

Pressing on, stay tuned for chapter 6... 

Friday, March 25, 2011

Wake up call from God?

Tsunamis, public unrest, Earthquakes, nobody getting along, national deficits with a gazillion zeros attached... What IS the world coming to?  I just finished reading a book, "Last Light" by Terri Blackstock.  Took me a little bit to get into it, as it was evident from the first pages that it was another of those "end of the world" kinda reads,, and I wasn't in the right space to deal... but a week later, I couldn't put it down.  So, this guy and his daughter meet at an airport where he's picking her up from DC.  as she comes off the tarmack, planes start dropping from the sky, cars stop running, televisions, anything with a motor or that takes power.  They WALK many miles home, ride bicycles.  Within 3 days of this mass power outage that seems to be world wide, neighbors are fighting, looting, killing each other and not willing to share.  This man and his family are Christians, and it occurs to him and his wife that this is their opportunity to do Gods work, to help one another and all survive together.  They aren't preachy, but try to do what's right and live by Christian values.  A murderer is in their midst.  They gather water at the river and boil it for proper drinking water.  They cook over wood fires, wash their clothes in the creek, start composting. 
It made me think.... what if this were to happen to us tomorrow?  How would we, "The Pellowes On the Hill" as my brother calls us, survive?  Do we remember how to work hard, and have it in us to do it, sun up to sun down, just to survive with a quart of water and a can of beans a day?  Of course, T does.  He's a hard worker anyway.  As for me, and our princess, we're pretty spoiled.  Makes me worry, and feel guilty.  I should be instilling a better work ethic in this child. 
The book is long finished, but I can't shake the thoughts.  There isn't a reason not to be better prepared... (HORRIBLE sentence, I know)  I toy with wanting a garden this summer, but KNOW I'm horrible at taking care of it.  I'd like to freeze and can some stuff.  Will I?  who knows.  I'd like to tho.  We'll see, I guess.
The thought remains.  How about you?  Are YOU ready for a catastrophe?  Would YOU share with your starving neighbor?  What if you had to MAKE diapers for your baby?  If somebody died, would YOU loot their house and hoard the goods you find, or would you distribute to those more needy than you?  Would YOU kill for the bicycle someone is about to steal from you, it being your only mode of transportation?
Like I said, these thoughts stick with me.  Not since the "Left Behind" series by Tim Lahaye, have I worried so much about the future.  Time to take stock, of my spiritual inventory, as well as the physical one, I think.  Won't you join me? 

Friday, March 4, 2011

\Click here to try the zentangle weekly challenge

Zentangle.  It's just a new little artform I've learned... had a class at the house with some girlfriends over.  Definitely destresses one.  You should try it.  There are a couple of little secrets... it's best to take a class.  But if not, that's ok too.  There is no "right" or "wrong" way to do this, just let go and let it flow!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Wow.  As usual, blew that diet plan the hell outta the water!  Oh well!  More of me to Love, right?  ha!
Signed up for my first ever Twitter chat tonite with some photography-like minded folk.  Hoping I can make a few new friends and hey, if I can learn a little something as well, then it will be a successful evening!  MAYBE I'll even get some pointers on how to make my pics of indoor sports to come out looking groovy, instead of like a blurry blob!

Happy Valentines day, everyone!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Ooops, kinda skipped right over bloggin day 2.  That's ok, it wasn't a stellar day, as far as "the program" goes.  Had a nice day tho!  Started out at Serendipity for a morning of pampering and self indulgence.  Ahhh... a one hour massage!  I've never really had one, and this was great!  It won't be my last, that's for sure!
Well, was a good girl and started out my day with my vitality, clear shake and... lets see.. vitamin C 1000mg, an omega 3, some ibuprofen and tylenol to combat the first part of my spa visit. (grin)   Handful of almonds, a pear...
That's all good.  After Serendipity, I stopped at Joann Fabrics for a couple of things, and a "quick snack" ended up in my cart.  Reeses crunchy bar.  (hangs head in shame) Bottled water.... and on my way to Loris. There we went out to lunch, hung out, played pool.  Had a blt and fries while out.  Oh, and a beer.
Then back to Loris, fire in the fireplace, she Mandy and I sat down and made her new years cards.  That was nice and relaxing, fun even.  chips and dip a little later in the day, and then I came home about 9.  Picked up J, more sinning as I stopped at Wayside for a snack while waiting for J, an ice cream sandwich and small bag of smart food later, I was done consuming crap for the day.  Bed by 1, mask until 5:30ish.. Slept til 9.

day 3
clear powder, 1/4c. organic apple juice, handful of blue and handful of strawberries.  A pear.  handful of almonds.  Vitality-6, omega3-3 of those suckers, big as horse pills!  Vitamin C.... so far so good.   I think a big veggie/chicken soup is in the makins for today.  It's that kinda day.
Texts from B and A this morning... they're in Montana and expect to be in Canada before nightfall.  604 miles today.  yuck. 

View Larger Map

ooops, just got a text, they're at the Canadian Border! 

More later!  Have a great day everyone!

Friday, January 7, 2011

The good ole college try

Happy New Year! 
I saw Kara Hayes yesterday.  You can check her out HERE.  The time has come for me to make a decision.  I am seriously researching Gastric bypass surgery, and feel I need to make one last ditch huge effort to lose weight and become more healthy, before giving in to the surgical intervention.  That being said, I always have trouble remembering the things I do or eat or feel thruout the day, so told myself I'd journal and use that as a reference.  We'll see how it goes!

so, today is DAY 1
Took my cellular help supplement, here after called "Vitality".  Also some G3, which is a juicy power boost of phytonutrients.  Think energy, baby...
0830  1 scoop of Ultra Clear in 1/4c. organic apple juice, 3/4c filtered water and 5 ice cubes. 
 I woke up with a super runny sneezy nose.  Broke down and took an allergy/sinus pill.  No headache, but TIRED!  That's cause the mask isn't working that great.  See the Doc in half an hour on that.  (GASP!  Half an hour!  I don't think my pants are done drying and it's a 20 minute drive!)
Will stop at the store afterwards and get a crapload of veggies and fruits for some swamp water smoothies etc!  
More later.
ps just got invited to a dinner party... no, not pizza, but a real, dress up a little bit cause I wanna, dinner party!  It's on the weekend of my bday, which is a bonus, because it's how I'll get Tim to go, and I get to do something a little different/fun on my day, or close to it.  Cool Beans!
Well, enough procrastinating, time to move it...
Great day you all, hope you have a great day!

Addendum: Let's see... mask issue fixed, I hope, we'll see tonite.  Allergy med helped with sinus issues, but now, 7pm, they're creepin up again.  Took a little nap this afternoon... don't know why I bother w/out the mask, it's like not sleeping and I could just do it perpetually.  
Lunch was tomato/basil soup, a Thai tofu veggie bowl... no preservatives, all organic and all that.  It was ... edible.  Oh, and those "it should be good" multigrain chips!  I really like them, and they're all natural.  Probably not exactly on the detox diet, but it's the first day, and much better, the 20 or so chips I ate, as opposed to the BAG of munchos I wanted!  (grin)  Also had a pear... a bottle of seltzer water... and then a snack of frozen yogurt.  
Tonite, a big salad with iceberg (yeah, I know, but I forgot to pick up something else!) carrots, celery, evoo and balsamic, yum!  A small piece of chicken, a couple bites of stuffing and peas and corn, maybe a tablespoon of each.  
Not too bad huh?  Yeah, and then I had a martini.  doh!
More tomorrow, going to bed!  
PS saw Terri today,  I can honestly say that it didn't rock my world.  Didn't upset me... in fact, it was really nice to be at peace, to have him go on about his stuff, and it didn't effect me.  It made me laugh, when I said, "wow, in the last 24 hrs I've seen Kara, George, John and now you! "  (I was thinking that it was confirmation)  He said, "Yeah, maybe it's a sign that it's time for you to join the world, join the living..."  and I just chuckled to myself... Oh, I've been living... peacefully... little guilt... I'M not the one on self imposed house arrest... I could go on. Suffice it to say that it was nice, to be seperate, at peace, and not be affected by his... stuff.  Thanks Angels, Spirit Guides, Mother Earth, God!

Saturday, January 1, 2011


Interesting day yesterday.  Nothing was as it seemed, and nothing was as it always has been.  The kids were both home, Hubby stayed up.  I napped in his chair until around 11 and barely made it thru the ball drop.  Hey, I was sick, ok?  (grin)  really, I was.  It was just an odd New Years Eve.  Dick Clark did a fairly decent job, all things considered.  He seemed more comfortable this year, which is important, I think.  Seeing the Back Street Boys and NKOTB together was kinda wierd.  They did a good job, it's just awkward to watch 8 grown men sing teeny bopper pop songs.  Shrug.  Whatev!

Anyhow, on to 2011!  What are your New Years Resolutions?  I've not made any mad claims, but think that this will be the year to get myself in better shape.  I'm not talking the usual "I'm gonna lose 50 lbs and go to the gym every day".  I'm talking, eat better, take my suppliments, surround myself only with positive people, speak more gently, be kinder to myself, and enjoy life.  My new job is fairly undemanding.  Instead of trying to do more more more, I'm just gonna let that coast, and take time to write... read... play the piano, the guitar, finish that quilt! 
It's time to give up some things that I thought were making me feel better.  They're not.  They're making me feel bad about myself, and giving me cause to always be looking over my shoulder.  Time to cut that crap out. (nothing illegal folks, no worries)  Time to clean up my act.  GRACE.  Thats the word.  Time to live with Grace.  Oh for pitys sake, I sound like a commercial for the new Oprah Network!  hehe!

 This is a panorama pic I took with my phone.  I just love it, because my whole family is sitting in the new living room, waiting to go to bed on Christmas Eve. There's Jordan, and Tommy, Amber and Brand, and Tims body there on my right.  Just love this pic!